i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize