New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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