He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
