Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
