She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize