you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
