new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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