I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize