The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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