I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
