rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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