none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My feet surprised me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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