Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
