yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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