Pappa wants mamma naked
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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