Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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