My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
