Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
