She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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