At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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