apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
