All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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