you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
