I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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