Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize