i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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