i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
