don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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