party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
