There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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