he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
