i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
