So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
