You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
