It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize