You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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