How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
