dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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