No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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