Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
