she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
