If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
