I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
