sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
