the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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