My first STD was from a foam party
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This baby is an asshole
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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