i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
