pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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