My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
