i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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