i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
