I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
