Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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