planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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