Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
