The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
