So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
