So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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