Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize