Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He passed out mid-signature
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
