im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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