where am i from again
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
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