That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
