I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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