I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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